reality

This must be a dream
But it seems so real
Why don’t I know?
Why can I not feel?
The thoughts that plague me…
How can I eat less?
How can I lose weight?
How can I stop it?
Before it’s too late?
it somehow makes me feel powerful
Makes me feel amazing
Each time I see the numbers shrink down
Yet still I find myself gazing
Into that dreaded mirror
This that tells me so many lies
Tells me I’m fat, disgusting
Why can’t I be normal?
Can’t you hear my cries?
But it’s something I can control
Something that can’t hurt me
Something that is just mine
An identity?
But It keeps me feeling real
I’m scared of being hurt
I’m scared of the emotional pain
And the weight that I could gain…
I’ve been so hurt, so many times
I never want it to happen again
I’ve built this wall up
So no one can get in
But now I’m starting to see the lies
The reality of it all
I want to take off my disguise
So tired of it all
Tired of being tired, tired of being sick
I want to tear down this wall
Brick by brick
I want to be real
I want to dream again
I want to learn how to feel
And no longer be in pain
I know I can do this
Just have to keep trying
Never give up, and you won’t miss…
my recovery, I am no longer denying….
So now I can dream
Now I can fly
lIfe is too precious and amazing to just let it pass me by
So I will go ahead
And take that leap
Someday I will succeed
And no longer question why
Everything happens for a reason
So I won’t give up ever
Keep living keep dreaming
Keep on believing
It will all be worth it in the end
Always and forever!!!!!