insomnia

My eyelids droop
My head pounds
Yet I force myself to stay awake
For I cannot sleep
Sleep is too scary a thing
When I am forced into my dreams
Where all is dark and dim
In addition, he is there
Haunting, attacking yet again
I cannot even breathe
I force myself to stay awake
I do not even know where I am
Or why it goes on in my head
Over and over again
I just wish it would end
Sometimes I watch it as it happens
Other times I relive it feel it happening again
Making even my sleep no longer safe
I have no escape
I am so tired
So defeated
But I still cannot allow myself
To fall asleep…..